On Sexual Shutdown and Sexless Marriages
Do you ever find yourself experiencing a subtle or not-so-subtle aversion to physical touch?
Perhaps you're navigating a gradual sexual shutdown in your relationship?
Has it been ages since you engaged in intimacy, or experienced genuine enjoyment from it?
Are you grappling with understanding your resistance, knowing that pleasure awaits, yet struggling to find the path to that magical place?
Or, you may have a deep yearning for connection, feeling disheartened as your partner seems unable to meet your genuine need for touch.
In our fast-paced world, couples often encounter challenges in sustaining intimacy. Major life transitions, shifting hormones, and the newfound security in a loving relationship, coupled with unconscious fears, can contribute to complexities fostering avoidance or discomfort with closeness. It might be residue from past relationships, wounds from others, or unfavourable relationship patterns learned over time. At times, it could be a mismatch of nervous systems, necessitating a deeper understanding to enhance resonant connection.
Have you ever wondered why your partner craves deeper connection but struggles with physical intimacy?
Do you find sex a bit lacklustre, yet struggle to articulate your desires to your partner?
Are you seeking the sacred in your connection?
Do you sense deep aspects of your psyche that desire to be revealed through polarity play (often discussed as the complementary essences of Feminine & Masculine, Yin & Yang, Shiva & Shakti, Magnetism & Radiance)
Would you love to reframe intimacy as a playground for the divine aspects of your individual sensual and sexual natures?
or….. perhaps it’s role-play that sparks your interest? 😉
How about initiating sex? What’s going on there in your relationship dynamic?
Initiating intimacy may pose challenges for one or both people in a couple, as gestures are frequently met with uncertainty, potentially resulting in feelings of rejection. This difficulty often stems from a lack of awareness about each other's foundational needs within the realms of desire and arousal.
Despite deep love for each other, many couples find themselves in a rut, lacking the understanding of each other's differences and lacking the tools to break the ice. They discuss issues but lack a clear roadmap out of their unexciting place. Buying sex toys together may just add pressure to the situation, rather than actually spice things up.
Without intervention through mindful connection and communication practices, such as those I guide my clients through in my online couples coaching, my workshops and couples retreats in Melbourne, the sexual stalemate may persist for years, leading to a dry and sexless marriage.
I've assisted numerous couples facing physical intimacy challenges that are making sex awkward or seemingly impossible; be it unreliable erections, pain with penetration, or premature ejaculation- all common things that need not kill the mood or cause shame, blame or embarrassment.
Redefining what constitutes lovemaking is crucial in achieving mutually fulfilling sex. And more, I have many practices that help people increase erection quality, their ability to last longer, increase arousal, achieve orgasm, heal vaginal pain, understand each-other's needs and more.
The impact of satisfying sex on relationship aspects and personal lives should not be underestimated. Sex and pleasure act as a balm for the nervous system, and experiencing great sex can influence many aspects of life, catalysing a seemingly magical ripple effect!
Reflecting on the questions and scenarios outlined above might be your first step toward addressing the barriers that hinder you from the more fulfilling intimate relationship you desire.
In my online Couples Coaching container, you and your partner embark on a journey to rediscover the beautiful connection that physical intimacy can bring. We address obstacles causing a physical or sexual shutdown and examine the individual conditions necessary for your arousal, desire, and pleasure.
This exploration involves techniques such as mindful touch, playful games centred around curiosity and uncharted play, Neo-Tantric connection processes, Taoist sexual energy techniques, and a variety of highly effective communication tools. These tools become the secret sauce, encouraging awareness and ensuring both partners are fully engaged in the shared experience.
The bespoke package comprises 12 sessions tailored to meet you where you are, acting as a map to guide you where you want to go. You are invited to engage in fun and sexy home-play together, following my guidance through instructions and audio recordings, plus activities for solo practices towards your own sexual mastery, and access to email support between sessions.
Within these 12 sessions, you also receive personalised one-on-one sessions as needed to navigate individual issues, helping you understand yourself and encouraging your own growth and healing.